


Sorry, Harry.

by IzuShou



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: One-Sided Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:20:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27231133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IzuShou/pseuds/IzuShou
Summary: The untold tale of Draco's side of the story.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before reading, I would strongly advise listening to these songs:
> 
> Secret Love Song- Little Mix  
> A Thousand Years- Christina Perri  
> This Feeling- The Chainsmokers

"Can you pass the paper, Ron?" Harry sipped his morning coffee as he watched Ron making breakfast. Hermione had left earlier this morning so it was just him and Ron in the house.

"I honestly don't know how you can stand to read that after all those horrible articles they print about you, but sure." Ron had hated The Prophet with a passion ever since their fourth year when they'd published an article suggesting Harry and Hermione were together.

"They don't do it as much nowadays so sometimes they have good information. If not, what's a bit of humour on a Monday morning?" It was also the easiest paper to access so Harry didn't mind. He'd faced Voldemort and died so what could be worse, he thought.

"Sure mate. Tell me if it's got anything interesting." While Ron hated the paper, he would have to admit, some of its gossip was juicy and mostly accurate.

"Of course. Let's see... today's headline. I would bet it's got something to do with Ginny's win yesterday." Harry watched the game and if it wasn't one of the best games of the season, he didn't know what was.

"Haha! Probably." Ron had already watched the game and heard Ginny bragging about her win so he wasn't all that enthusiastic about it.

"Anonymous letter sent in... Draco Malfoy... secret love..." Harry was surprised to not find a single word on Ginny on the front cover. Instead, it was all about Malfoy. There was a picture of his expressionless face from the trial a year ago covering a quarter if the page. Harry skim-read the headline.

"What's that?! Malfoy's got a secret love? Keep reading, I bet work'll love the gossip!" Ron wouldn't gossip much himself, but he liked to know what everyone was talking about so he wouldn't feel left out.

Silence. Ron glanced over at his friend, confused by his lack of reply.

"Ron... I think you should come here. I-I think this is serious." Harry skimmed over the pages and not many were accusing Malfoy of an evil scheme of some kind, for once. And there was another picture of Narcissa Malfoy crying.

"What happened? Do you wanna keep reading?" Ron brought breakfast and a coffee for himself over.

"Yeah, I'll keep reading." Harry began to read the first line of the anonymously sent in letter, supposedly written by Malfoy.


	2. Part I

My name is Draco Lucius Malfoy.

And I have something to tell the world.

You don't have to read this.

But you can.

To the people who were at the Battle of Hogwarts:

When my parents asked me to go to them.

_You all just watched! Why?!_

If one of you had asked me to stay.

_None of you asked. Just one word._

_Stay_.

I would have stayed.

I know you are going to say that I'm lying.

That I made the choice to go back to the Dark Lord.

The same as taking the Dark Mark.

I wouldn't disagree.

I _did_ walk there myself.

And I _did_ take the mark.

But it was my only choice that avoided worse things.

_Trust me_ , there are worse things than what I chose.

I guess that makes me a coward for not doing what's "right".

For taking the easy way out.

_But aren't you also cowards for not trying to do anything yourselves?_

Not all of you. (I know some of you worked so hard. Not that you'd know, that I knew how hard you worked.)

But the ones who stood by the side.

Not picking a side.

Letting it all happen.

You left it all to The Saviour and Dumbledore's Army and The Order.

Or to the Dark Lord and the Death Eaters.

Whoever you were rooting for.

_Doesn't that make me less of a coward for_

_trying?_


	3. Part II

I didn't always do what I knew was right. But that doesn't mean I _never_ did what was right.

As I grew I learned that some things were worth being brave for.

Some things that were worth risking everything for.

Risking my life, my father's life, my mother's life.

I did all that. _What for?_

Not for the many of you who did nothing.

Not for the Malfoy name.

Not for my future. I was sure I wasn't going to have one.

_Ironic now, huh?_

Not for The Order.

Not for Dumbledore's Army.

Maybe I should clarify things first.

I might have been a prat and stuck-up and a Malfoy but I have a heart.

A heart that, since August 31 1991, belonged only to one person.

That's who I was brave for.

_Should I even tell you? Would you believe me?_

_Please believe me._


	4. Part III

My heart belonged to the person who everyone seems to love, but who most, barely know nothing about.

The one who tries so hard to be their own person, not who everyone sees them as.

_I guess in that aspect, we're similar. I was trying to escape who people assumed I was too._

The one person who'd met me for the first time and treated me like I wasn't a Malfoy.

Like I wasn't evil.

Like I was just another kid.

Like them.

I'll stop dragging this on.

I loved- I _love_ Harry James Potter.

I always have.

Ever since we've met.

And I always will.

Even if I'm not here.

I hope he's reading this.

_Hey, Potter (if you're reading this)._

_Sorry I didn't tell you._

_If I had, would you love me back?_

_Would you try to love me back?_

_Sorry for all those mean things I said about your friends._

_Thanks for saving me._

_Sorry I'm not here to tell you how I've felt in person._

_I couldn't take it anymore._

_The fear._

_The doubt._

_The names._

_The whispering of others._

_The love without hope._

_I hope you can understand._


	5. Part IV

_Thank you mother. Father. For being there. For trying your best. It's not your fault. Please don't blame yourselves. You are the best parents. No one can tell you otherwise._

_Thank you to all my professors for everything you've done._

_But, most of all._

_Thank you to Potter._

_Thank you to Harry._

_For giving me the chance to love someone._

_It was the best and worst feeling in the world._

_But I would never give it up._

No matter what.

Which is why I did this.

_I couldn't let anyone take away how I felt._

_I love you._

_Sorry, Harry._


	6. Conclusion

"Blimey Harry. I wouldn't have beileved it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. Malfoy loves you. He's _in love_ with yo-"

"Was. He _was_ in love with me, Ron. He-he's **gone**." By Ron's lack of reaction, Harry guessed he hadn't quite worked out why this was front page news. He was stuffing his face with toast so that could also be the reason for his reaction.

"Shit! Ron, what am I going to do? The stupid prat _loved_ me. And I treated him like shit even though he was trying to be nice after the war-" It only clicked for Harry a second later. Malfoy had _loved_ him- like how Ron loves Hermione- and he was **dead**.

"More like get in your pants it seems! And what do you mean by gone? Where does it say that?" Ron's eyes lazily scanned the pages, as if he couldn't care less.

"He fucking killed himself you idiot."

_And I fucking told him I hated him._

_That was never true._

_I only hated Pettigrew and Voldemort and Lucius and Bellatrix._

_I never hated Malfoy._

_I just didn't tell him._

_Why didn't I just forgive him after the war?_

_It's too late now._

_It took him dying for me to work out that I never hated him._

_I'm such an idiot._

_Sorry Malfoy._

_Sorry, Draco._


	7. Epilogue

Harry attended Draco's funeral the next week.

He talked with Narcissa and Lucius but didn't mention his feelings for Draco.

While Lucius blamed Harry for what happened, Narcissa was calm and thanked Harry for giving Draco the chance at first love.

She'd handed him a diary. It was leatherbound, thick and seemed to be used over a couple of years.

It was Draco's diary, meant for Harry.

All the things he could never bring himself to say or do.

Reading it made everything clearer for Harry. Draco really did love him.

And Harry should've given him the chance to be brave.

Instead he'd treated him as if there was still a war. As if they were still on opposite sides.

When Draco'd been on _Harry's side_ all along.

Every week since then, Harry visited Draco's grave and would sit there for hours talking to his grave.

About his week.

About memories they'd "shared" at school together.

About how sorry he was:

How sorry he was that he didn't take his hand in first year.

How sorry he was that he'd ever thought Draco could be the Heir of Slytherin.

How sorry he was that he'd known the pressure Draco was under and not tried to help one of the few people he actually could.

_He knew that Draco couldn't kill Dumbledore._

How sorry he was that he had used _Sectumsempra_ without knowing how it could harm him and then proceeding to run away.

How sorry he was that he hadn't taken the chance to get to know him better after the war.

_But, in the end, was Draco just another person Harry couldn't save that died for him?_

_No. No, he was more than that._ Harry and Draco had so much in common, but just because they'd been on opposite sides and had their fates written for them, they never became more than enemies.

Most of those who died for Harry, he had never met before. But Draco was the first wizard his age he'd met. And they'd known each other for almost a decade.

_How did Harry not see this coming? How did he not know how miserable Draco was?_

_Maybe because he was part of the problem._

_Now it was too late._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me how it was please. Did you cry? I did writing this.
> 
> Draco deserved better.
> 
> More Drarry coming your way! (Not so sad next time. Hopefully.)


End file.
